带我去走走 :(

I need a break. Terribly. 

Who says Gemini can multitask very well? Everyday, I feel like a mad woman. Replying to different emails, readily switching mode to different articles, taking care of the different advertorials, writing different articles etc. It sounds so easy but when combined together, it's like the Indonesia Haze that will choke me any moment. 

I just need a week. To wake up at 12pm, go lunch, go gym, walk along the streets in orchard road, go facial, wear pretty! 

YES, I don't even dress up to work now except for days when I meet the boyf. On other days, I am like a 30 year old yellow face woman, messy hair, specs, tshirt.... Simply horrible. 

My hair ends are flying like nobody's business. Everyday I look at it in dismay. 

My face is like oil pan with oil clogs & blackheads all over 

My fats are accumulating around my body. Though the weight didn't increase at all, I'm feeling so uncomfortable when I never visit the gym every week. I AM FEELING FAT! BOO!

Oh yea, just let me grumble. I will get over it, I'm sure. These are just little musings of a grumpy young woman. 

Today is a super lousy day -> super lousy mood. I can't tweet nor fb it so blogging is the best option.

Okay, on the second thought, I decided not to blog anything. 

Every week passes so fast

Dear BLOG,

Sorry I have neglected you. I wasn't busy pator-ing, I was busy with work and even the boyf complains that I have no time for him. But Im grateful that he is always supportive and always there for me when I need him.

It's friday today, I have finished writing my advertorial and perhaps I should give myself a break by not blogging about the nitty gritty details of my job.

The boyf and I went to catch alot of movies, that's our favourite past time. I had free tix to watch CHEN ZHEN on Wednesday, wonderful show indeed. Spent my mid autumn with him and a breadtalk mooncake! hee...

Happy mid autumn! hope u guys had a good mid autumn. i didnt light a lantern this year, very sad. but never mind, will do it next year. grandpa is complaining that im not eating any mooncakes.

daddy's office gave him a 818 durian mooncake, it was soooo yummy! home favourite's durian mooncake is also very yummy! must blog and rmbr both brands so that i can buy it next year.

Taken with baby's LOUSY iphone 4! :p

Bottle Tree Park

Went Bottle Tree Park shoot today. My nose, cheeks and hands are all red. boohoo! Didn't take alot of pictures, tried long exposures and learnt portraits.

What have i been doing?

Hari Raya Puasa: we had potluck at East Coast with the SJS. I asked grandaddy to fry nuggets for us. it was raining heavily man! But it was fun, literally rest & relax. Then headed to Vivo Carnivore to makan with baby's buddies.

The next day, we went makan crocodile paws at cafe de hong kong. then baby, ellena, rey and i went marina barrage to fly kite. nice, it has been a long time since i flew kite. the last time there's a big patch of field at marina bay steamboat and i always buy paper kite together with one more roll of string.

This foc kite has limited string and i cant fly high :( but i love that place, can take nice photos, the sky, the greens, the kite...we were saying to go seng kang next time to fly kite again! :)

On Monday, baby and i took leave. I went for workout in the morning before meeting him to go Malaysia. He wanted to cut his hair that, and I told the stylist to cut a Beckham hair for him! Pretty cheap, only RM33 but didn't cut alot. And his hair grew so fast :(

We went Tang Chao to satisfy my craving for sambal fried rice before going for movie: Resident Evil. Very cheap wor, only RM11 each tix. Then we went into the streets to eat their sambal stingray, lala and ladyfingers. It was yummy!

Baby had some cash left so he paid for my manicure! Thanku love! *muacks*

Work has been soooo busy...gosh~

50mm Mono Night

We went for 50mm Mono Night yesterday. Walked from Suntec to Helix Bridge.

I'll never walk away from you, I promise :)

不能呼吸...

When I was a kid, adults always tell me to enjoy my childhood days as a student as it is the best moment in life. I always wonder why, and now that I have passed that happiest moment, Im missing it so much.

Sometimes, I sit and wonder, why is growing up so painful and torturous?

Not that i have been living in agony. But i just miss the feeling of having to think about nothing.

I am truly blessed to have a wonderful job, with senior and boss taking very good care of me. I have the chance to see many things which i wont be able to see , I have the chance to try new things , i have to the chance to meet people from all walks of life , and i even have the chance to have my own column, with my photos appearing in papers as well.

Alot of chances given and now that one of our colleagues have left, I have even more opportunities to learn more things. Grateful and appreciative of course, but now Im feeling that my life is going faster than i can catch up.

The pace is simply suffocating. So much so that it's breathing down my neck.

While I've been honest about being behind and being overwhelmed, I don't have any real outlet to release other than running away.

Im not as much of a perfectionist as a Virgo, but me being me, I hope i can get things done in the quickest and not-too-bad way.

At this moment, I'm feeling i'm not good enough.

I am not a careful person, perhaps clumsy. i scream at students when they make the smallest mistakes with numbers, but now, im constantly writing 错别字 for my articles. As much as i "checked", sometimes i think and i read faster than i type. And i just hate myself for this.

i cant write for art. having to write so so so much flowery words and to instill the artistic feel into the article is simply torturing.

I’m far from perfect. But i have been working real hard. i have been doing much to prove that i can work. But maybe, it's not enough...

im glad that i wasn't running for news, really. Writing really needs inspiration sometimes, if i were in news, i have to force myself to churn out articles everyday and run with the deadlines. A good form of training indeed, but i will die pain pain for sure.

Sometimes when i open a new document, i felt like i am starting a new race. and to start this race, as well as to end it, there needs to be motivation and determination.

For now, I'm lacking motivation.

Please don't rush me and constantly reminding me what work have i not done. Though i look like i don't care, but i jolly well know it much better myself and these constant reminders, though caring on your part, may just bring me more unnecessary stress than i ever need.

i have been working for the past whole week. literally whole week, including sat and sun. i really need a break, desperately.

i know i have been catching small, yet unrecognized, breaks every now and then, but i just need a FULL break. even just for a day.

- i just need to break from all the 101 unread emails and having to constantly clear my mailbox everyday, if not it will run into the red zone.

- i just need a break from having to talk and hello to the 101 PRs and having to entertain each other as if we are like friends for 10 years.

- i just need a break from having to listen to phone calls from marketing and PR asking when the articles are going to be published and how big is it, because frankly, i really don't know and i have no control!

- i just need a break from having to answer the same questions "how long have u been in this job?" "what were u doing previously?" "what beat do u write?" etc etc etc.

- i just need a break from having to introduce myself and meet new people (note: i didn't say make new friends, i just say meet new people).

im feel lopsided. for now. and i seriously need stability, for a while.

At this moment of emotional low, perhaps, that’s why retail therapy works. Cos you know that as long as you’re willing to pay, you’ll get what you want, without having to exert too much brainwork, without having to worry it for days and weeks till it's done.

Alright, alright. No more self-pitying indulgence.

I know, people around me hates it when i'm like that.

I know, I hate it when I’m like that.

I know i can do it. I just need some time to regain the balance in life.

Many more to come!

The boy sure has some artistic talents. (Though his hair looks like the 7-UP man while i look like some mama-san -.-)